In a shocking move, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has announced a massive purge of government employees across all agencies, citing excessive time spent dragging the mouse cursor to input boxes instead of using the tab key on their keyboard. According to sources, this egregious waste of time has cost the government an estimated 4.2 billion hours since the mid-1990s, resulting in a staggering loss of productivity valued at over $1.3 trillion. DOGE claims that this drastic measure is necessary to streamline government operations and eliminate inefficiencies. “We can’t have our employees wasting precious time and resources on such mundane tasks,” said a DOGE spokesperson. “It’s time for them to learn to use the tab key like everyone else.” The firings have sent shock-waves throughout the government,…