{"id":725,"date":"2025-03-03T10:13:32","date_gmt":"2025-03-03T10:13:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/?p=725"},"modified":"2025-03-03T10:13:59","modified_gmt":"2025-03-03T10:13:59","slug":"725","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/?p=725","title":{"rendered":"Woman Comes Up With Teleportation via 1990s Fax Technology"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Jenny plugs herself into the console to come out of her closet and into her cabinet.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Jenny SeaMonkey, who being fed up of \u201cweirdness of living on this planet\u201d worked out a process of teleportation using the standard fax protocols and hooking a holographic vacuum on each fax modem on each end of the portals.<\/p>\n

Ms. SeaMonkey had successfully ran her test by teleporting herself from her bedroom closet to her kitchen cabinet, both outfitted with the fax modem hooked up to the holographic vacuum chambers.<\/p>\n

Each chamber, according to Jenny works by sucking all matter from light into analogue wave information that gets transliterated into AT data transmission commands over No Name VOIP services for $4\/mo of unlimited calling to the lower 48 states, and pennies to a dollar anywhere else in the world. The other end of the transmission is another holographic vacuum chamber that transliterates the AT analogue data into sound waves that correlate with the light waves and produce the lattice structure that reproduces the Jenny matter once the vacuum is produced.<\/p>\n

There is a bit more technology to this process that Jenny said has to do with generating a magnetic field for each of the chambers that helps regulate and facilitate translation of sound wave to light then to re-materialization at the horizon of complete vacuumization.<\/p>\n

While Jenny made a successful transmission of herself a distance of about ten yards within her basement apartment with a 10 minute transmission time at 14.4 baud date rate, she plans her next test to take her to the moon on Kepler. She projects it will take her about 35 years to construct the ship to get the setup on Kepler before transmission can take place.<\/p>\n

Hopefully she won\u2019t be intruding on anyone already there.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/path><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jenny SeaMonkey, who being fed up of \u201cweirdness of living on this planet\u201d worked out a process of teleportation using the standard fax protocols and hooking a holographic vacuum on each fax modem on each end of the portals. Ms. SeaMonkey had successfully ran her test by teleporting herself from her bedroom closet to her kitchen cabinet, both outfitted with the fax modem hooked up to the holographic vacuum chambers. Each chamber, according to Jenny works by sucking all matter from light into analogue wave information that gets transliterated into AT data transmission commands over No Name VOIP services for $4\/mo of unlimited calling to the lower 48 states, and pennies to a dollar anywhere else in the world. The other end of the transmission is another holographic […]<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/path><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":726,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thegarlic"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=725"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":728,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions\/728"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.pagetelegram.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}